Gravel has been the Laboratory’s Senior Technician for six years, which is forty two in lab years. We spoke to him on a break between sweeps.
“People think the science is the hard part,” he said. “It is not. The science is a cat pushing a glass. The hard part is the glass afterwards.”
A Typical Day
Gravel arrives at 7 AM, checks the benches, and removes anything fragile. By 7:15 the Professor has returned it. By 7:30 it is on the floor. Gravel then sweeps, and records the fall, and sweeps again. He says he finds it meditative.
On Respect
Asked whether he felt appreciated, Gravel replied that he had a small plaque in the cupboard that said World’s Okayest Technician. He considers it his proudest possession and often looks at it, sighing.
A Day With Gravel
Gravel’s tools are few. He carries a small brush, a pan, a tin of treats and a notebook in which he has written the word Sigh sixty three times. When asked whether he enjoys the work, he said, after a long pause, that the quiet moments were nice.
What He Would Change
If given a wish, Gravel would ask for a laboratory made entirely of carpet. When it was pointed out that the experiments would then be pointless, he agreed, and asked for carpet anyway.
Closing Thoughts
Gravel asked us to say that he is not available for further interviews, but is open to snacks. He also asked us to say that the plaque is real, though he refused to let us photograph it, in case it fell.
Gravel’s Advice To Young Technicians
Always carry a brush. Never trust a shelf. And if a cat looks at you while holding a paw above a glass, step aside, breathe slowly and begin sweeping early.
We salute Gravel. Without him, the Laboratory would be knee deep in shards, and the Professor would be on a stool, laughing.
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