All staff are reminded that the floor of the Laboratory is not perfectly level. It slopes gently towards the radiator at an angle of roughly one degree.
This is the reason that every dropped item, whether pen, marble or piece of kibble, eventually ends up beneath the radiator. We previously suspected a conspiracy. We now suspect a floor.
Staff Instructions
- Do not place a marble on the floor and walk away.
- Do not chase a marble that has rolled away.
- If you must chase a marble, do so with dignity.
Recovery Fees
Items recovered from beneath the radiator are returned to their owners at a small fee, payable in treats. Items not claimed in thirty days become property of the Laboratory and are used in Study 120.
Incident Log
Last month a marble rolled the full length of the Laboratory without stopping and came to rest against the Professor’s paw. She has described this as the finest moment of her career. We have since measured the slope using a spirit level, which promptly rolled away.
Frequently Reported Items Beneath The Radiator
- Eleven pens, nine of which are green
- A single sock of unknown origin
- A small gold ring, believed to be a prize
- Three bottle tops, one of which is a very good bottle top
- A mouse, now retired
Plans For Repair
The Laboratory has requested a repair from the Facilities Office, which is also a cat. We expect a response within the year, if the cat wakes up.
Additional Notice
Anyone found sliding along the floor on purpose will be recorded as a research subject. Anyone found enjoying it will be recorded twice.
Thank you for your care. The Laboratory will repaint the floor in due course, but the tilt will remain, as it is now part of our heritage.
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